he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
