I'm going to jail i love you
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
