He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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