In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
