Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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