So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
