he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
