I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I will be naked everywhere
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
