I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We got so high we made milksteak
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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