So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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