I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
