Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
