last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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