he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
