i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
