think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
