Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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