whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
