the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
