Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
