I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
no you cant smoke seaweed
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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