I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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