do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Life is so much better after having sex.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
