you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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