making cat noises will not fix the situation.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
