what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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