i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize