why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize