I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
