How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
