we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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