He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
