I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
