he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize