she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
