Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
