question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
home. puking in laundry basket.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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