I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Is Oprah even human
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
