wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize