How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
