Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she smelled like a LAN party
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
