if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
