oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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