did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
