During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize