We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
