I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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