haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
