So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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