somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
