Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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