Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
