I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
