He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
