now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
