I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How naked do you want me to be?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
