new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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