Why are handjobs necessary in class?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Dicks are not precious.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
